Letting Go of Perfectionism, Punishment, and Control: Step Six—Seven Steps to Love

Step Six: I asked Love to show me how to let go of the need to be perfect, to punish, and to be in control.[1] Undermining the Self I believe that many of us unconsciously struggle with patterns of self-hate. This is not too surprising when we realize that there are a lot of messages … Continue reading Letting Go of Perfectionism, Punishment, and Control: Step Six—Seven Steps to Love

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Prayer: When We Believe, When We Doubt, and When We Don’t Believe

I have long been fascinated by prayer. One reason for this, of course, is because prayer has been an important part of my life in one form or another since I was young. But I am also interested in prayer for another reason. Over the years at various times, I have heard stories of people … Continue reading Prayer: When We Believe, When We Doubt, and When We Don’t Believe

How I Became an Everyday Superhero and Walked Ten Miles: On Learning To Trust and Support Ourselves

Six years ago I suddenly realized one day that I didn’t know how to be a very good friend to myself. I realized that I had problems trusting or supporting myself. One consequence of this was that I said a lot of unkind and discouraging things to myself regularly throughout the day. The Mean Little … Continue reading How I Became an Everyday Superhero and Walked Ten Miles: On Learning To Trust and Support Ourselves

Our Hunger, Our Body Mythology, and the Weight We Carry

There is a common trope on TV and movies: There is some girl, and at the beginning of the story, she is portrayed as an “ugly duckling”. Perhaps she is the “wrong size”, “unfashionable”, she doesn’t do her hair and make up "right". The movie portrays her as being “ugly”[1] as compared to some implied … Continue reading Our Hunger, Our Body Mythology, and the Weight We Carry

Month Two of Beautiful Breathing: More Cool Things Happen

Two months ago, I realized I had erratic breathing patterns. This is something I have struggled with my whole life, but it has gotten worse in the last couple of years. So in April, I began practicing intentional breathing exercises every day, three times a day. My breathing exercises are really simple. I just breathe … Continue reading Month Two of Beautiful Breathing: More Cool Things Happen

Why the Phrase “I Was Only Joking” is Usually an Excuse for Bad Behavior: That Roseanne Barr Tweet and Some Other Stuff

To use the old saying, If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say "I was only joking", I would be a rich individual. The Insulting Context of “I was Only Joking” People say “I was only joking” a lot, and in my experience, this phrase is rarely, if ever, used to … Continue reading Why the Phrase “I Was Only Joking” is Usually an Excuse for Bad Behavior: That Roseanne Barr Tweet and Some Other Stuff

Five Things You Can Do When People Treat You Cruelly and Unkindly

Most of us have had people be really unkind or cruel to us at one point or another. Sometimes we are able to shake off people's unkindness and to move on, but sometimes, for a variety of reasons, people's unkindness affects us deeply and can cause deep and consistent painful feelings. I take unkind actions … Continue reading Five Things You Can Do When People Treat You Cruelly and Unkindly